Should you ask people to help you pay for your wedding?

Photo: Elkk Photography

​Let’s face it, weddings are expensive most and one of the most common questions clients ask us is should we ask for help to pay for the wedding? 

Absolutely yes! There is a right way to ask and it doesn’t have to be difficult. Follow these easy steps to make sure that you are asking for wedding financial help the right way:

Identify with your partner who you want to ask and why. 

  1. Are they close to you and/or your fiance?
  2. Have they taken a vested interest in your relationship?
  3. Did they bring it up when they found out about your relationship or engagement?


Come up with a plan to ask. 
As you plan to ask people for help financial help with your wedding, considering sharing the overall costs related to your big day, share your plan with the funds and the importance/value to you and your partner, allow time for input/feedback, and set your mind to be prepared for a no. Consider the following ways to ask for money:  

  • In-person ask: Discuss your plans for the wedding and help them see your vision big day which greatly increases their chances of assisting you. 
  • Over the phone/Virtually: Sometimes, over the phone is much more realistic than in-person. Write out a short script that includes your wedding vision and your current needs so that you can read along and cover everything that is important. 
  • By Mail: Don’t underestimate the power of a handwritten note. Not only will it make the person you’re asking feel connected but it also conveys the importance of the request.

Clearly and Concisely Ask.
“We want to properly manage our expectations as we move towards the planning phase of our wedding. We would like to know if you plan on financially contributing to our needs for our special day. We have/haven’t spoke about this before, but I want to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

Get Creative.
If they can’t help financially, perhaps they can offer you their time, which can be just as valuable. 

Follow Up, Thank You and Acknowledge
After you have a commitment or a consideration, be sure to follow up and say thank you. A phone call and handwritten note are a must. Adding them to your website or the back of a wedding program with special shout-out is a good way to show your appreciation.  

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